


delicate

by issylra



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 18:16:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13253892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/issylra/pseuds/issylra
Summary: “-kiss me?” Jace finishes the question like it's the most natural thing in the world, doesn't even flinch when Alec's mouth snaps shut mid-sentence. “I think it might help.” - an alternate take on the cut Jalec kiss from City of Glass set in the show!verse.





	delicate

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been wanting to write something for these two since I started watching the show and here I am a year later, dipping my toes in the water with this drabble-esque thing. Timeline wise, probably somewhere towards the end of season one but don't think about it too hard. Credit for inspiration to ofgoldenblood on tumblr. You don't know me but this idea came from [your wishlist](http://ofgoldenblood.tumblr.com/post/145520573452/but-imagine-the-original-scene-from-the-books), so thank you. ♥

“Look. I don’t want to push you into anything, but do you maybe want to-”

“Call Magnus? Jace, it's not like that. I know you’re trying to be helpful, but-”

“-kiss me?” Jace finishes the question like it's the most natural thing in the world, doesn't even flinch when Alec's mouth snaps shut mid-sentence. “I think it might help.”

“Help with _what_?” Alec looks incredulous, perched on the end of his bed, staring at Jace like he's a shax demon about to sprout pincers from his face.

Jace doesn't want to say it, the words they've been so carefully tiptoeing around since that day at Magnus' loft. _You think you're in love with me._ It's only been a few days since Alec's bachelor party and everything still feels fragile. Jace has never been good at handling other people's emotions, like a bull in a china shop, but the fear of going back to where they were, the pain of their bond weakening, is palpable.

“With all of it.” He gestures vaguely in Alec's direction instead. “Just trust me.”

It's not an answer at all and Alec makes that clear with the way his eyes narrow in suspicion. He doesn't move, though. He stays put even when Jace sits down next to him, a hand reaching out to Alec's shoulder and resting there innocently.

“This is stupid.”

“What's stupid is you not trusting me, _Parabatai_.”

“Like you've never given me reason to-”

Jace cuts the words off with a press of his mouth. It's awkward at first, the angle all wrong, and Jace thinks that's okay because it only proves his point. That's what this is about, _proving a point_.

But then something clicks.

It's like a dam breaking when Alec tilts his head, finally kissing back after that initial moment of hesitation. The sudden rush of adrenaline that shoots through Jace doesn't make sense. He realizes too late that he might have made a huge mistake.

It's barely a press of lips and it's like coming home.

Alec's hands fist in the front of his shirt, pulling him closer, and Jace shudders at the unfamiliar scrape of stubble against his jaw _._ It's right. _Good._ He can't help the way he grips the back of Alec's neck, suddenly so afraid to lose whatever this is he's feeling.

Alec kisses like he does everything else, with a kind of dedicated precision that leaves Jace reeling. Jace wonders if he's ever done this before, if it was with Magnus or someone else Alec never told him about. The thought is aggravating and pulls at a dark part of him he doesn't want to analyze.

His fingers tug mindlessly on the hair at Alec's nape and when Alec's teeth sink into Jace's bottom lip, accompanied by a noise halfway between a groan and a whimper, the pure _want_ that sparks through him almost bowls him over. His tongue curls around Alec's, open-mouthed and dirty. Everything about their bond feels ripped open, lit on fire, and Jace knows he should be afraid but after months of Alec slipping further and further away, he revels in it.

Suddenly, all he wants to do is touch. He thinks about tugging Alec's shirt over his head, pushing him back on the bed and straddling his hips. It's only a stray thought but somehow Alec responds to it like he _knows_ , sees everything playing out in Jace's mind and wants it, too.

They break apart and Jace gapes. Alec looks like his entire world has been turned upside down, pupils blown wide and breath coming out in pants. Somehow Jace knows he's looking at his mirror image. _This wasn't the plan._

He clears his throat, looking anywhere but at Alec whose eyes begin staring daggers into the side of his head. He's like an exposed livewire and he can almost feel the question Alec wants to ask. He won't, though, and Jace can feel that, too.

Jace smirks instead, with all the false bravado he can muster up. “See? It's not about me.”

He says the words because they're what he _planned_ to say, after he'd kissed Alec and helped put this entire thing to rest. Fixed their bond, made them whole again. _You were never in love with me._ Now it just feels like a bad joke. Not funny at all when his heart is still pounding loudly in his ears and his fingers itch to keep touching.

“Yeah.”

The response is quiet, muttered under Alec's breath and Jace sees the way he's folding in on himself almost as much as he feels it. It's like the first night after they'd cemented their bond. He remembers knocking on Alec's bedroom door when everyone else was asleep, one hand tracing the lines of their rune under his hoodie.

“Do you feel that?” he'd asked, when Alec had let him inside.

“What?”

“ _Everything.”_

They'd stayed up together, laying side by side in Alec's bed and marveling, for the first time, at what it felt like to truly share a soul. It feels like that now and Jace can't help the way he clutches at their rune like an anchor. Alec's eyes are immediately drawn to the spot and his eyebrows furrow in a way Jace is all too familiar with. Alec's lips are still puffy from their kiss and that's _not_ something Jace is familiar with, but it makes something in his gut twist. _I did that._

Jace clears his throat and looks away again, the smirk faltering into more of a grimace as he gets up. “I'm supposed to meet Izzy for training, but uh, I'm glad we got this cleared up.”

He's still not meeting Alec's eyes and there's a surge of frustration as the moment stretches between them. Jace can't tell if it's Alec's or his own, only that a part of him desperately wants to reach back out, pull Alec back to him. Instead he turns and heads for the door.  A thousand questions are poised at the tip of his tongue, but he doesn't know how to ask them. It feels safer just to keep his mouth shut.

“Don’t ever do that again.”

Jace freezes in the doorway. There's a resignation in the way Alec says it to his back that makes Jace flinch but he doesn't turn around. He swallows hard against the lump in his throat.

“Why would I?”

“I don't know, Jace. Just don't.”

The door clicks quietly shut when Jace leaves, but the sound echoes in his head for the rest of the day.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is super welcome but if it's unrelated to the story, I won't be posting it since fanfic reviews aren't really a good medium for discourse.


End file.
